Craft 'n Coffee

Thursday, January 31, 2013

My heart will go on. Or Not.

That's pretty unbelievable right now.  Not to speak negatively, but I really feel it right now.  The weight of everything from the past year.  All of Dara's testing and testing and testing and being diagnosed with a severe case of fibromyalgia the week before her 19th birthday, and the journey through the drug regimen to see what would work for her.  Finding out that my mother had previously been diagnosed with a terminal illness. Micaela's accident, and God.  There are no words to express the stress and pressure and hurt that has gone along with that in the past 5-1/2 months.  Two days after Mic came home from the hospital, we had to take Gracie, our 15 year old whippet to the Rainbow Bridge.  I believe she had stroked, she had lost function of her limbs, could barely walk, and the day I took her to the vet she couldn't get up at all.  That was horrible.  She knew why she was there, and she didn't want to die.  She cried a cry I'd never heard in all 15 years with her.  Then the last weekend of December my beloved Solomon diagnosed .... we'd fought hemiangioma sarcoma for several years, having surgery to remove the skin spots to try to keep it from going internal.  His litter sister died of the same thing about 3 years ago.  The last week of December '12 his lymph nodes suddenly began swelling.  The vet shook his head sadly.  And today, one month later, I took him to the Rainbow Bridge.

My heart might go on, life just keeps on happening,  But I. Just. Can't. Take. Any. More.  Time might make things easier, but from this, my sweet Solly, my doggie soul mate, from this I will never heal.

No more pain, the Rainbow Bridge has been crossed. My heart is broken, my sweet Solomon forever to me lost. He knew he had to go, there at the end, but no more pain, my forever friend. — with Solomon Rogers 09.18.2002 - 01.31.2013.

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